Growth During Quarantine

So here we are...

When I first heard of the far-away-at-the-time coronavirus, I was in the middle of a respiratory infection that gave my family and me the spooks. It obviously wasn't a case of 'rona, but little did I realize that the once-distant disease would become an ever-relevant and all-consuming part of my life.

Quarantine started at the same time 2020 picked up for me. It started in a rocky-but-still-good type of way, but it was looking up. I felt secure in my friendships, relationship, career moves. Insecure in my declining health, but that was the extent of my worries.

I stayed with my boyfriend in Brooklyn for two weeks in March, headed home for a week, and came back to Brooklyn when my home became too distracting for my jam-packed schedule.

In the month and a half of social distancing, I've done/accomplished the following (with their assigned significance included):

1. Cooked/baked chicken cutlets, gnocchi, chicken drumsticks, pork ribs, shrimp, meatballs, lasagna, cookies, banana bread, sausage & onions, wings, and pizza

I'm sure you know I love to cook, but this extra time has revealed my ability to take on more elaborate recipes and execute. Cooking has made me happy.

2. Finished projects in 2/5 of my last classes of undergrad... and cried about virtual graduation.

I stopped caring about my grades about a year ago, so finishing up a couple of final classes is a huge burden off my shoulders. On that note, each class's conclusion is a step closer to virtual graduation that has messed with me emotionally. Imagine being a first-generation student, first in your family to have an undergraduate graduation, only to have the ceremony over an emotionless laptop in your home, graduation ceremony-clad robe, and mailed stole? But I've moved on--people are sick.

3. Started and finished watching Money Heist, started Ozark and All American, almost done with House of Cards and Quantico

Now, this may not seem like a big deal! But considering I like so few shows, it's been great to have a docket of available entertainment.

4. Made the decision to move out and started planning a move to Brooklyn post-graduation

By the time quarantine ends and I start my full-time job, I would like to not commute two hours each way to get to SoHo. So for this month, downsizing and packing begin...

5. Discovered a plethora of new music per TV show soundtracks and TikTok

If you know anything about my music taste, you know it leaves a poor taste in the mouth. Imagine hearing 2015 Little Mix one minute and Luke Bryan the next. Yikes. Discovering new music is a huge step in the direction of character development.

6. On the note of TikTok, I've made 4* and have a few in the idea bucket (shameless, add me: https://vm.tiktok.com/cawjdP/)

Yes, they are average! But that's the beauty of TikTok. All it takes is one hit to propel you to superstardom. And I am on my way, I think.

7. Grown out my nails appropriately for the first time in 3 years

Seemingly, no big deal. But this is an all-encompassing milestone that works to establish the point of this blog post. I have had Beau's lines on my fingernails for the past few years. Beau's lines are, "deep grooved lines that run from side to side on the fingernail or the toenail. They may look like indentations or ridges in the nail plate." They're the result of malnutrition per my rough ride with anorexia. They kept me from growing out my nails because of their ugly appearance.

And for once, with all the good food entering my system and overall upwinding health, they've started to go away. They have quite literally grown into something I am happy with.

Growth, especially during these pandemic-ridden times, is an all too talked about topic. I don't know about you, but I've never felt more pressure to be productive and do new things like learning a new skill or program. Sure, being home means more time to "do the things" (whatever they are) but that shouldn't mean pressuring yourself to. When quarantine started, I felt more unmotivated to do much of anything, and I still don't really care to (hence the delay on this blog post), but social media made me feel the "need" to.

I've decidedly taken social distancing to "grow" on my own terms. Perhaps I'm not waking up at 6 am each day to work out and read books and learn a computer program, but I am growing in other aspects important to me, even if others don't see it as a major point of growth. And I hope you, in your boat of sameness or otherwise, take this time as a point of growth on your own terms, too.

*subject to change