Personal Life Spotlight: Crossroads

A point at which a crucial decision must be made that will have far-reaching consequences and/or repercussions...

2020 has been rocky, to say the very least. I had a respiratory infection in January for two weeks, which was followed by the all too unforgiving pink eye (in both eyes). I was then hit by a car and will be undergoing 6-8 weeks of physical therapy. I will soon be visiting an ophthalmologist because I have damage in both eyes due to contact lens wear.

Needless to say, I've been forced to shift my priorities. I can't run because my back cannot physically handle it--which is causing something of an identity crisis. Who am I if I don't run? I have so little energy for interaction because of the constant pain I'm in that I avoid most situations involving people. Who am I without talking to people all day?

While my health has given me a mountain of problems, it's also given me an opportunity for real growth. I'm at a crossroads currently, and the situation itself spans across friendships, long-term goals in my career, and personal plans post-graduation.

Ultimately, I'm at a bump in the road, and I'm trying to get to the other side. But I'm treating this crossroads as a determinant of who and what is worth my time when it becomes so precious.

My circle of friends has always been small. When your health diminishes and your time is limited, you figure out that the circle only gets smaller. And to be quite honest, I appreciate that. I realized that low-maintenance friendships are the most ideal for me--so what about the high-maintenance friendships?

When I think back to last summer, I remember how excited I was to have found my dream career in pharma/health advertising. Then I started working in sports and that dream career experienced a shift--what is the dream then?

I considered my post-graduation personal life, too. 2020 was supposed to be the single year, the year I got my apartment and got my license and ran a marathon. Then I met my boyfriend, need more money than I thought for the apartment, have no time to practice driving, and my back is keeping me from the marathon. What now?

Everything has changed, slowly but surely. But that's what makes this situation all the more important.

The crossroads' solution, broken down, is simple. Yes, things have changed and situations are more complicated. But the reality is that I've changed too. I'm sure we've all experienced this. The situation is hard and we tell ourselves "I don't know what to do!" But deep, deep down, we know what to do. It's just hard for us to say.

I am over it. School ends in a couple of months, and I am totally over it. People are annoyed with me for petty reasons, and I am over that too. I'm asked to do things that I would've gladly participated in a year ago, but I'm also over that.

Health has made things difficult, yes, but it's also served to simplify things for me. Without the pain in my body, I would have probably tolerated a lot more than I have lately. Without this crossroads, I would probably be making myself miserable pretending to be happy for everyone--when in reality, I am simply over it. And for those reasons, I am grateful for the crossroads.